Tuesday, July 3, 2007

You did not see this coming.

My girlfriend dreamt last night that I’d died and Dr. Gravitee had, because he knew I’d want him to, taken over as her boyfriend. When, months later, after an appropriate mourning period, she asked him if he’d like to sleep with her, he became irrationally angry. He picked up a Felix the Cat wall clock by the tail and waved it at her threateningly.

Thank you, Dr. Gravitee, for honoring my memory in dreams.

Others are honored this week. My friend Carnahan has a surprise birthday party tonight. He thinks it’s someone else’s party, and it is, but it’s also a party for Carnahan. I don’t approve of this surprise, since he’s fully expecting a party, and the surprise is that he’s being shoehorned into the festivities at the last second. Similarly, my girlfriend’s parents are throwing her a party on Saturday. She knows this, but doesn’t know that they’ve invited childhood friends she hasn’t seen in fifteen years, or that the theme is “Bali Luau” and the dress is “Business Tropical.” These are, in a sense, a surprise parties.

Other recent surprise parties:

Yi Jianlian
Thought he was going to: His coronation as Prince of San Francisco Chinatown.
Was actually going to: Milwaukee.

Joey Renard Gathright
Thought he was going to: Jump over a car without untucking his polo shirt.
Was actually going to: The minors. But he got to be on YouTube.

Musa D
Thought he was going to: Free LaserBall Day at Comerica Park.
Was actually going to: Neifi Perez Bobblehead Day at Comerica Park.

Frank Wychek

Thought he was going to: Eat free pizza every night for several weeks, and twice on Sunday.
Was actually going to: Remove jacket and pants to reveal Titan blue and white wrestling trunks!

Musa D’s Weekly Challenge: Correctly predict any one of my girlfriend’s dreams this week.

Tie-breaker: Write something in the comments no one could ever have expected.

Winner gets a Neifi Perez Bobblehead!

3 comments:

Hannah said...

I predict your girlfriend dreams that Dr. Gravitee gives in to her demands, only to be even more disappointed than before.

Tie-breaker: I found a blog worse than this one.

Anson Mountain said...

I predict that your girlfriend has this dream:

An old Cherokee sits beside Musa D's girlfriend and tells her about a battle that goes on inside people. He says, "the battle is between 2 wolves. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith." Musa D's girlfriend thinks about it for a minute and then asks, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replies, "The one you feed."

Tie-breaker: Our blog is still worse than that one.

DrGravitee said...

Your girlfriend dreams that she is in her old high school, only it isn't quite her old high school, and a pony is there, or at least she thinks it is a pony, and then suddenly there is a test, and she hasn't studied for it because nobody told her about the test. Also she is dressed inappropriately (underwear). There were also a few other things to the dream that she can't quite remember now.

The above is the recurring dream I've been having lately. I particularly do not understand the pony.

Tie Breaker: I recently realized that I prefer spinach-based South-Asian dishes to lamb-based ones.