Monday, April 23, 2007

Lance Schulters Did Not Enjoy Match Point Either

A few months ago, I had a dream. I rarely dream, or at least never remember them. On average, I wake up remembering a dream about once every two or three months. It stands to reason that the dreams I do remember should be of great importance, but they rarely are. Most involve my parking my car and walking with a large group to some event and then realizing that I have no idea how to get back to my parked car once the event has ended or I have decided to leave early. But a few months ago, I had a dream about Lance Schulters, who once played safety for the Tennessee Titans. I was at a charity basketball game and he happened to be playing and we talked about movies and he seemed like an okay guy and I remember telling him that I wished the Titans hadn't released him and he said it was just business. He went back into the game and I sat back on the bleachers and I remember thinking, in the dream, that this would certainly go over very well on the blog. And I woke up and I decided that maybe I needed to spend a little less time with the Sinkholes.
But then I got an email from a college friend, Dave "Angry!" Schultz, telling me that Dr. Gravitee was writing posts that were too long and would I come back to write something about sports (or not sports as it were. Angry! said, and I quote, "Anson, can you please go back on the blog and get to the bottom of this hamburger thing?"...oh, in college, "getting to the bottom of this hamburger thing" was slang for getting your business in also meant, sometimes, wrestling on the lawn). So, here is, in honor of the first Charlotte basketball team, a little excerpt from Tony Earley's incredible "Charlotte":
"Now we have the Hornets. They wear uniforms designed by Alexander Julian, and play hard and lose, and make us look into our souls."


Angry! said...

This post is too long.

Melancholy! said...

The orthography of this post is confusing. Get to the bottom of this post's hamburger thing!

Anson Mountain said...

Marc "Melancholy!" Burnstein, please do not make me consider a new brand of toothpaste. You will not enjoy that at all.

DrGravitee said...

American Heritage Dictionary -
or·thog·ra·phy (ôr-thŏg'rə-fē)
n. pl. or·thog·ra·phies
1. The art or study of correct spelling according to established usage.
2. The aspect of language study concerned with letters and their sequences in words.
3. A method of representing a language or the sounds of language by written symbols; spelling.


Is "Melancholy" saying that Anson made spelling errors? I don't get it.


Melancholy! said...

Sorry, Doc, I meant "topography."

Looking again, though, I think the parenthesis about getting to the bottom of the hamburger thing was sufficiently concave.

I stand corrected, slouching and melancholic, afraid I might run into Anson at our dentist's office.