Another thing that's been decreasing is my metabolic rate. I think I've determined the contributing factors:
- Watching 5.5 seasons of The Sopranos in a two-month span.
- Leaving my bicycle locked to the bike rack behind the Thomas Community Center in Gainesville, FL, two years ago.
- Leaving my baseball glove in Africa, where I'm sure it's collecting dust. (Having one baseball glove is as pointless as having one tennis racquet. Having both one glove and one racquet is equally pointless. Having both or either is even more pointless in an African village, where there are no solid, large, horizontal or vertical flat surfaces, and no balls.)
Those 5.5 seasons of The Sopranos have caused me:
- A ten-lb. weight gain.
- Handgun fantasies.
- Worse posture.
- To use foul language around my grandmother, though she didn't hear me.
- To refer to paying my taxes this year as "kicking up to my uncle."
- To have a sit-down at work with Bill the mailroom guy about having him clip Harold from Accounts Payable.
Vanity Fair and I agree that The Sopranos is the most influential show of all time.