Mocking My Mock Draft

I had the 5th overall pick in a Mock Draft Central (Yahoo standard 5x5) draft. The experience was an unmitigated disaster. My internet cut out three times, but that wasn’t the problem. The real problem was that my three auto picks were probably my best picks of the draft.

Since this draft is not worth getting all nitty gritty on, so I'll simply highlight a few picks:

Round 16:

Manny Corpas – This was not an auto draft pick. I willingly picked Corpas here. I had Huston Street queued up, and then when he was taken the pick before me, I got upset. So, to “get back” at the owner who stole Street, I took Corpas. Except that Corpas probably would have gone undrafted if I hadn’t taken him. So really I just hurt myself. Do you know what I think about when I think about Manny Corpas? I think about being stuck in the frozen tundra and shooting a moose and then gutting it and crawling inside to stay warm. Manny Corpas. That's not intended to be a joke. That's really what I think.

Round 18:

Delmon Young – Let’s face it: we’ve already seen the best that Young has to offer. I think the Twins know this, too, as they’ve been trying to trade him this offseason. Nobody really thinks he’ll ever hit 30/30. Wait, you do? No you don’t. Look at it this way: in 344 career games, Young has hit 26 home runs and has 26 stolen bases. The only reason I took him was so that the other folks in the draft room would type in “nice value” when I picked him. Which is a dumb reason to pick anyone. Nice value. What does that even mean? A player is worth a pick or not worth a pick. I’m sick of this “nice value” talk. Although I think what grinds my gears most is when someone takes a player that completely sucks and then types the phrase “position scarcity” a few times to make it all better. Anyway, I probably should have taken Frank Francisco or Chad Qualls with this pick (both went undrafted). Or maybe John Smoltz (who also went undrafted). In the future, maybe I'll only draft guys who are considered injury risks. You know, Rich Harden, Smoltz, Randy Johnson, Chris Carpenter. And then, for good measure, I'll use my last pick on Ben Sheets. That'd be a really nice value pick.